How to handle fear of success
We're all familiar with fear of failure. But fear of success? Also a Thing.
Did you watch Wimbledon this year? I’m quite a fan of the tennis — and of Sue Barker, who retired as the main presenter of the BBC’s coverage last year. A line from her memoir, which she mentioned on Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs in September 2022, stuck with me. She recounts how her tennis coach once said to her:
“Never be afraid to fail. Never be afraid to succeed.”
We can probably all relate to fear of failure. But fear of success? Also a Thing. And both can hold us back — whether from winning a tennis match or writing a book.
Success and failure — and mindsets
A familiar line from the Rudyard Kipling poem ‘If’ appears above the doors to Centre Court at Wimbledon:
“If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster, And treat those two impostors just the same.”
It’s the last thing elite tennis players see as they compete for the sport’s most prestigious trophy. I’m not necessarily suggesting you approach success and failure with such stoic equanimity. The important thing with both success and failure is the mindset you approach them with.
Growth mindset. If you have a growth mindset, you’ll see failure as part of the process, a sign that you’re learning and growing, and a step along the journey to your goal. You’ll enjoy success as a reward for hard work — but know that there’s always scope to develop and improve, and that it’s not the ‘end’ of a process. The journey continues.
Fixed mindsdet. If you have a fixed mindset, you’ll find failure much tougher. You’ll see it as a sign that you’re not good enough, not talented enough, that you’ll never make it and you should just give up. Likewise, you’ll see success as an indicator of your innate talent and worth, rather than something you’ve worked hard to achieve. You may think that once you’ve ‘made it’, you should find everything easy from now on. This will make any subsequent knock-backs harder to deal with.
If you have a growth mindset, you need fear neither failure nor success, but see them as part of a process of learning and development.
What is fear of success?
We’re all familiar with fear of failure. It can manifest as fear of criticism, rejection or judgement. But fear of success? What does that look like?
It may also be referred to as ‘success anxiety’ or ‘success phobia’. It’s a worry that, once we achieve a goal, we won’t be able to sustain that success, that we may suffer in some way because of it — or simply that things will be different. We’ll be different, people may react to us differently — and those close to us may even resent it.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.”
— Marianne Williamson
Fear of success is fear of change — and fear of the unknown.
New York Times bestseller Marianne Williamson says: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.”
How fear of success holds us back
These fears may come from childhood experiences, impostor syndrome or simply introversion or shyness. Whatever the reason for your fear of success, you may not even be consciously aware of it. On the surface, you’re just focused on a positive end goal — such as finishing your book or landing an agent.
But the ‘finishing line’ isn’t an end. It’s a beginning. And fear of handling what comes next may hold you back and block your writing — even if you’re not aware of it. It can show up as anxiety, guilt, perfectionism, feelings of discomfort, stress or pressure, lack of motivation, avoidance, quitting and self-sabotage.
And, especially, procrastination. We tend to think of procrastination as stemming from fear of failure (what if no one likes our work?) But it can also come from fear of success (what if they… do?)
“Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the ‘someday I’ll’ philosophy.” — Denis Waitley
Motivational speaker and author Denis Waitley describes procrastination as fear of success. He says: “Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the ‘someday I’ll’ philosophy.”
So what are you putting off today that could bring you success tomorrow?
Success scenarios
Imagine for a moment that you’ve finished your book — and got a publishing deal. Congratulations! Now what? Here are some things that could happen next — and some potential challenges that may come with them.
You finish your manuscript. Well done — you finally did it! But now you have to show it to someone — and this can be the scary part! What if no one likes it? What if it’s no good?
You get a book deal. Brilliant news! But now your publisher wants you to deliver your next manuscript within 12 months. And it took you 10 years to write your first one, without the pressure of a ticking clock! What if you can’t meet the deadline? What if the quality of your writing suffers? What if you’re only good for one book and have no ideas left?
Your book is published. It’s out in the world, and anyone can read it! What if the critics hate it? What if readers love it, but you can’t follow up with something as good?
You get a book tour. You’re invited to appear at numerous bookshop events and literary festivals. It’s a great opportunity to meet readers and promote your work. But you’re terrified of public speaking. And how will you get any writing done with such a packed schedule?
You get publicity. Your book is a hit, and now your agent is fielding requests for you to appear on radio and TV! The thought of doing a live interview horrifies you. What if you dry up or sound ridiculous?
You win an award. Your book is a HUGE hit, and you win a major literary award! It’s what you’ve always dreamed of. You’re thrilled with the prize money and sales boost. But uncomfortable with the level of attention that comes with it.
I’m sure you can add to the list. What success scenarios scare you?
How to overcome fear of success
We’re often told to visualize success. But, too often, this simply involves imagining reaching the finishing line of our goal (and, ideally, all the steps in between required to get there). I want you to go further — and vizualize the steps after you reach your goal too. Think about the good outcomes — and the bad.
Maybe you love public speaking, relish the thought of meeting your readers, and can’t wait to get on TV. But maybe you don’t. Or maybe writing deadlines are your big fear. Imagine all the things that could come after you get a book deal — and identify those that concern you. Reflect on why. Then think about how you would handle them.
For example:
Don’t accept a multi-book deal. You can take things one book at a time — and agree realistic deadlines with your publisher. Publishers need to plan ahead, and will always prefer a realistic delivery date to an ambitious one.
Negotiate your advance. Or discuss this with your agent who will most likely be doing this on your behalf. That one-year deadline might be doable if you can afford to write full-time!
Discuss marketing and publicity. Don’t feel you have to agree to everything your publisher wants you to do. Be realistic about what you’re comfortable with — and have time for. For example, you don’t have to do live radio. You could reach a large audience with a pre-recorded and edited podcast interview instead.
Go step-by-step. Worried about speaking in front of an audience? Start with a small event, perhaps at your local library, and build up from there. You’ll get more confident with experience.
Get some training. Many larger publishers offer in-house media training. Accept it if offered. It will be a huge confidence boost. And you may, over time, come to enjoy media interviews and appearances!
Build your team. You don’t have to do it all alone. Yes, you may be in demand if you become a bestselling author. But you can route everything through your agent, and they can field and filter requests, and help manage your career.
Think about your fears — and possible solutions. Instead of worrying about “what if no one likes my book?”, “What if I can’t deliver?”, “What if I go to pieces in a radio interview?” ask yourself a different question: “What if it all goes right?” It just might.
A nice problem to have
Fear of success can seem like a nice problem to have. After all, you need to get that book deal first! But, even if you’re not aware of it, a subconscious fear of success can hold you back from finishing your book, showing it to anyone, or promoting it properly.
By thinking through these scenarios and solutions, you’ll be better prepared for success — and more likely to achieve it. Then you can focus on your writing, knowing that, whatever happens in the future, you’ll be able to handle it. Game, set and match!